When was the last time you really talked to someone about sex? Not in a group chat with your mates, but an honest, unfiltered conversation with someone who’s actually trained to help. Someone who won’t flinch, won’t judge, and knows how to get to the root of things. For all the talk about mental health and self-improvement, sex still sits in the shadows. It’s one of the most personal, vulnerable parts of life, and yet, most people navigate it alone.
That’s where a sexologist comes in.
Sexologists are trained coaching professionals who specialise in human sexuality, relationships and the often unspoken emotions that sit beneath performance, desire and shame. For many people, especially men, this kind of coaching can be transformational because what you avoid in the bedroom often mirrors what you avoid in life.
The unspoken impact of shame
Whether it’s porn use, sexual anxiety, low desire or feeling emotionally disconnected from a partner, most people carry some form of sexual shame. For men, that shame is often buried under years of performance pressure, cultural silence, and unspoken expectations to always want sex, always perform well, and never talk about doubts. What results is self-sabotage. You avoid intimacy. You over-rely on porn. You numb with work, weed or workouts. You keep pushing forward in every area of life, except the one that might be making you feel most stuck.
Working with a sexologist doesn’t just address the act. It addresses identity, communication, and confidence. It’s about bringing your full self to the table, not just physically, but emotionally and psychologically.
What can a sexologist actually help with?
Sex coaching isn’t therapy – it’s forward-focused, goal-oriented, and often surprisingly practical. A sexologist can help with a range of challenges, including porn dependency, performance anxiety, low sexual confidence, difficulty communicating desires and boundaries, rebuilding intimacy in long-term relationships, exploring sexual identity and preferences, and regulating emotions in intimate settings. All of these have huge ripple effects in other areas of life. Better communication, greater self-awareness, more confidence, less shame. The gains aren’t just in the bedroom. They show up in your relationships, your focus and your work.
Why men avoid this kind of coaching
According to a 2023 survey by The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, over 60% of men said they would feel uncomfortable discussing sexual issues, even in a private coaching setting. That discomfort is exactly why this kind of coaching is needed. We talk a lot about emotional intelligence, yet ignore the role of sexuality in shaping our emotional lives. We talk about self-improvement, but rarely touch the parts of ourselves still ruled by shame. This isn’t about sex as a "problem" to fix. It’s about understanding sex as part of your identity and making sure it’s not silently sabotaging your confidence, relationships, or growth.
Pitstop: where sex coaching meets the bigger picture
Pitstop is now offering 1:1 coaching through the app, and soon you’ll be able to access expert sexologists. Whether you want to tackle porn dependency, rebuild trust in a relationship, or just understand your own sexuality better, getting coached by a sexologist will offer a safe, confidential space to do that work in confidence.
No awkward clinic visits. No judgment. Just private, expert support from the comfort of your own space — all inside the Pitstop app. You’ll begin with a short onboarding process to identify your key areas of focus: anything from confidence and relationships to identity, emotional regulation, or performance anxiety. From there, you’ll work with your coach to build a personalized plan, with regular check-ins and full access to in-app tools like journaling, habit tracking, and 500+ resources to support your growth.
Download the Pitstop app to begin your coaching journey today. It’s confidential. It’s expert-led. And it might just change everything.
